Family Room: Playground Article Archives
How Would You Manage Otherwise?
Traveling in Sweden with a Child
By M. Brittany Shahmehri
When my son was six months old, we took a trip by train through Europe. At one point we boarded a train in Germany, and found that we had been assigned seats in a very smoky smoking section. It had been a long day, and we spoke no German, and I sat on a suitcase between train cars, nursing my son, while waiting for the mix-up to be sorted out. While I waited, a woman who spoke English approached me. “Why don't you go to the nursing compartment?” she asked. I had never heard of such a thing. But she led me through the very crowded train to a compartment where another family with an infant sat, their baby nursing peacefully.
As a parent, the trip was eye-opening. We spent the better part of our time in Sweden, as I have family there. Most Swedish trains have a car set aside for families with children, which makes travel considerably easier. In a few towns, the busses are free to parents travelling with a stroller, and all the busses I took had stroller parking across from the back doors, making access easy. I found that passengers were quick to help strollers onto the busses, and once when an empty bus stopped to pick me up, the driver came back and helped with my stroller. My family told me that this was not unusual. They found my surprise puzzling. “Of course he should help you,” I was told. “How would you manage otherwise?”
In Sweden many government policies foster respect for children. Parents are guaranteed days to care for sick children, and individuals receive more vacation time. Child care is high quality and heavily subsidized, and universal health care made Sweden the first country in the world where doctors could not tell the social class of a child through a physical exam. Spanking is illegal, as it is considered to violate the rights of the child, and is seen as a gateway to physical abuse. In general children are respected as members of society; their needs are protected by the government, and accommodated by the culture.
The child-friendly atmosphere doesn't stop with government initiatives. The acceptance of children is pervasive, and it was the many little things in day-to-day life that I noticed most. As a tourist, childcare and parental leave policy had no direct impact on me. But the difference in the texture of my life was profound. One of the first things I noticed was a logo displaying a picture of a pram, which is as common as the wheelchair logo is in the U.S., and it is posted alongside the wheelchair logo. The picture of the pram sends a clear message that families are welcome to use the elevators, the automated entrances and larger bathrooms. Where there are not elevators, there is often a place to park strollers. Most stores have toys for children to play with, as do banks. Many public restrooms include tiny toilets about 14 inches high, allowing even the youngest children to use the restrooms with ease. Mothers nurse their babies comfortably in public, without any hint of disapproval.
At first I assumed that these things were the outgrowth of government policy. It didn't take long for me to realize what any good capitalist could see clearly: creating a family-friendly environment is just good business. There is no doubt that I spent more money in stores and restaurants as a result of my newfound freedom. Much as a glance can create pressure, a stroller logo can welcome and create a new level of ease. A play table or a few toys can bring parents back to a particular store again and again.
Swedish businesses respond to consumer expectations just as businesses do here. When American parents make it clear that the needs of their children should be accommodated, American businesses will meet those needs, and it will be in everyone's best interest. Child-friendly efforts do not just affect families. They affect the cashier, the bank teller, the guy behind you in line.
Perhaps the most profound difference took several visits to identify. Swedish mothers looked more relaxed. When a child screamed, the child was not pulled roughly or spoken to in a hostile tone, as I have so often seen when parents are under pressure. The tone parents took was calmer, they would bend and speak quietly to children who were acting out.
In the nine months total that I have spent in Sweden since that first visit, I have seen only one child throw a tantrum. When my own two-year-old ignored local custom and hurled himself to the ground, people stepped politely around him, and didn't take much notice. I was amazed how much easier it was to make good parenting decisions without the hostile stares of strangers. And what more can we offer our children than a positive environment, where they will grow up feeling welcome in the world, confident that they are entitled to a place in our busy, productive days.